Violent Relationships...

Not only black eyes and bruised cheeks but also a million dark blue marks on your body...

You are inside your own bathroom and it's finally safe to take off that mask you've been forced to wear for the past two days. You try and rub off the foundation and unlike before the process is way harder to follow through... Your face hurts on the places you need to rub the most.

The foundation is there for a reason.

Both you and your partner know why you need all those layers of blusher. Everybody else around you doesn't understand why you stick around... but you do. You stand by him.

You take off all your cloths. As you slip out of your skinny jeans you watch more and more of those blue marks staring right back in your face and you don't understand where did you go wrong. But the real question which should be crossing your mind is: what could you I have done so bad to deserve this?



Wow! This looks a little bit like my diary just a few months ago. Repeat the situation every couple of weeks and I could say that it's definitely me.

I went through a violent relationship. It all started over me talking to his brother. I was nice to his brother and apparently gave him more attention than to my partner. When we got into the house he broke his promise. He promised me he would never lay his hand on me. I was screaming and shouting with his family downstairs and nothing...

It didn't start too bad... There weren't any marks, not on my body anyway. But I guess it's like that for every woman. It's as if they try and make you get used to it. There weren't any lines, there were no barriers. He used to hit me in front of anybody and still have the nerve to say he loved me after.

I stayed... I loved him. I believed he would change. I stood by him.

I guess the physical violence didn't give him much pleasure because it seemed as if he enjoyed braking me down emotionally even more.

He would call me a whore, sket, slut, prostitute... He would say I'm ugly and stupid. The more hurtful, the better.

It took me a while to realize that changing was not about to enter his mind. He was far from it... He used to tell me he loves me and he will change for me but weeks after, once he thought that I've had a good break and my body had time to digest the blue marks he would realize how much I loved him and how many times I already allowed him to get away with it so he would start again.

I was so stupid, I was an idiot for believing him. I truly believed that miracle do happen. That men who have hit all their past girlfriends can change once they find the girl they love. I believed that when he realized just how much I loved him, he would admit that it wasn't me and he would be grateful he hasn't lost me.

I let myself dream away. And now I've only go myself to say sorry to.

I remember our worst fight. I was inside his house, we were laying down. I got kicked out of my house and was staying at my best friends house. And for some reason he disapproved of that.

I was so happy to see him...

I still remember the way my friend kept on texting me. I guess she felt something because she kept on telling me how she thinks I should really go play basketball with her. I really should come and have fun. Whatever she felt, she was right.

He told me to get out of the house and I was just about to do as told. He slammed by body against the wall and asked me where did I think I was going. He told me to go... I could never know what he wanted me to do. I just didn't have a clue.

Sometimes his no's meant yes and sometimes his yes's meant no.

The next morning I had to see myself in the mirror. I admit it. I have never seen anybody look that disgusting to me. It brung tears to my eyes... It still does... Looking at that image of myself was the most traumatizing thing I've ever went through in my whole life. I truly am not the kind of girl who cannot leave the house without make-up but that made me realize that looks did mean quite a bit to me.

The problem was not that he didn't realize I loved him. The problem was that he knew how much i loved him way too well. He knew I would defend him and I would excuse his behavior.

I used to be confident and I used to speak my mind. I used to be fun to be around and I used to smile. I am trying to go back to that girl who didn't give a damn about any guy. The girl who valued education over anybody, even herself. The one who didn't even have a second to stop and moan about her life because she was too busy. I need to find that girl withing me once more.



Ineffable Woman

Graffiti...

Yep, you've heard it right. I want to talk about graffiti. That filthy way of vandalizing our society which should only be designed by the government and our council... Not the actual people who live there. Yes, it really IS meant to sound sarcastic.

There are like a million people who keep on asking stupid questions... Is it art? Of course it's art. If people can pass their A level art exams just photographing lines and words etc. and we see it as art why shouldn't graffiti be somewhere in that category?

When I say graffiti I am not talking about tagging. Don't get confused by the two terms... Tagging are those silly little things you see on a lamp post, on the trains and buses which say something along the lines of ''Amber woz ere 2009'' or ''A4I2geva4eva''. I do see that kind of trash as vandalism but at the end of the day I have to respect that. No matter what people say, you are not born with your talents and qualities. It takes time and effort for people to learn how to be good at what they do. Every graffiti artist stars off their work by tagging, after which they start improving and changing their techniques...

Look at Banksy's work. I personally think that his work is very beautiful but some people do over rate it. Yes it looks good, yes it has a meaning behind it but he is not the first artist to make that combination - looks and meaning - and yet it seems like he is the only one who is recognized for doing just that.

Even though the general public don't knows what the guy looks like, he has his own website. You can always check it out by clicking here. And even thought he is almost invisible to most, he is now putting on a show for everyone... FOR FREE!

Banksy vs. Bristol Museum

Now, lets look at somebody who isn't as famous for his work. To me his works look ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! I admit it, i do adore his work... I am sorry to say but I don't know his name, all I know is that his work goes by the name of Visual Dirt. It can all be found on his website by clicking here and you can always check out his myspace page by clicking here.

I assume you've checked it out... Now tell me:
1. Why does Banksy get more publicity than this guy?
2. Which of the two artists do you prefer?



Ineffable Woman